in ten minutes, i am about to log into facebook and watch the jonas brothers live chat. i don't care if you think that is werid, or odd, or even sad, because that is just me, and you will have to simply deal with it.
some of you might have stumbled across this blog before, for others this might be your first adventure into the pit of my mind, but either way, welcome. i have deleted all my old posts and started again, cause i felt like the girl who spent hours fangirling over zac efron or joe jonas and worring about her alevels simply wasn't me anymore. the upsetting thing is, i am not sure who i am.
i thought i was an actress. but the thought of that makes me a little bit sick inside. i hate failure, and even though i keep trying to convince myself that it is something i can deal with, but i know that i just simply can't. it isn't something i can comprehend. i need success. i breathe it. i realised this on the 19th of august. the day before results day. even though i had been basically guarenteed a place to my insurance university, i really needed to get into cardiff. just to prove i could. if i hadn't got in i would not have been able to cope with it. i admire non and jo so much because they were so strong that day. i wish i could say i would have been as gracious or as level headed as them if i had not gotten in. i probably would still be crying right now.
but even though i hate failure. i also hate work.
so it's a bit of a catch 22 right?
OMJ. JONAS JUST ANSWERED MY QUESTION. MY HEART JUST STOPPED.
ok. so maybe i am still a little bit of a fangirl.
anyways. signing off. love.
xo
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